


Stuck Making Excuses

by WhiskeyDreams



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Abusive yuri plisetsky, Angst, Future Fic, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Physical Abuse, Multi, Not Cheating, POV Otabek Altin, Regret, This is more JJBek than Otayuri tbh, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28918251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiskeyDreams/pseuds/WhiskeyDreams
Summary: “It was him, wasn't it?” JJ's voice was uncharacteristically quiet this time.Otabek felt himself turn to stone and knew he was more than just a few seconds too slow to deny it.“It's nothing.”
Relationships: Jean-Jacques Leroy/Isabella Yang, Otabek Altin & Jean-Jacques Leroy, Otabek Altin/Jean-Jacques Leroy, Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Stuck Making Excuses

**Author's Note:**

> Something a little different from what I've posted here so far.   
> Originally wrote this as a little scene for Angst week back in December, but after finishing the first draft I never went back to actually polish it enough to post it in a timely fashion... which is my usual approach to deadlines. Maybe one day I will learn. Though probably not xD 
> 
> Mind the tags ^^

“Otabek!”

JJ's voice booming across the street made Otabek freeze, eyes darting around for an escape, but he could already hear fast steps approach him. The hotel was still half a block away and there were no shops he could have ducked into in the near vicinity. JJ would have seen him go inside anyway, and would have undoubtedly followed. Nevertheless, Otabek started to walk again, not turning around.

“Beks, wait!”

Otabek sighed inwardly, expecting but still cringing slightly at the hand that grabbed him by the shoulder a moment later. He wished JJ would take a hint and allow Otabek to brush him off like he had done so many times in the past. He wished even more he hadn't been so thoughtless to leave his sunglasses in the hotel. Most of all, he wished he hadn't left the hotel room in the first place.

The hand on his shoulder tried to make him turn around but Otabek planted his feet to the concrete and went rigid all over. JJ simply walked past him to come and stand in front of him, and Otabek buried his hands deeper in the pockets of his leather jacket and stared at JJ's glaringly colorful sneakers. But he could feel JJ's eyes on him all the same, and knew by the sharp intake of breath that JJ had seen what Otabek had so meticulously hidden behind concealer and sunglasses all weekend during the competition, during the few times he'd actually shown his face around the event. Only to fuck up now, on the last day, by thinking a quick trip to the café down the block was going to be fine.

“Shit, Beks. What happened?”

Otabek didn't look up. Pretending he didn't know what JJ was talking about was unfortunately not an option. The bruise was fading, but the skin around his eye was still mottled in greens and yellows that were hard to miss from up close. Still, he couldn't help but turn his head away, as if it wasn't too late to hide.

“Bad fall. It's fine.”

He cast a restless glance around to make sure none of the other coaches or any of the skaters were around, but the only familiar face he spotted was Isabella's, standing a short distance away across the street, and she didn't look like she had any intention of walking over to them, which was more than fine with Otabek.

“It was him, wasn't it?” JJ's voice was uncharacteristically quiet this time.

Otabek felt himself turn to stone and knew he was more than just a few seconds too slow to deny it. “It's nothing.”

“I told you he was bad news, Beks, didn't I?”

Otabek almost snorted at that. Trust JJ to never miss an opportunity to dish out an 'I told you so'. He wondered if all the people that had told him variations of this had truly had an accurate estimation of just how bad things would get down the road. Otabek doubted it, because if they had been able to tell, why hadn't Otabek been able to see it? They had probably fallen into the same trap as he had. Despite their warnings and their head-shaking and their disapproval, they had all assumed or hoped that Yuri would grow out of his anger issues someday. Instead, he had grown _into_ them. Quite literally.

“It's not really any of your business, JJ.”

“We used to be friends, Beks.” JJ said it as if it was supposed to mean something. As if that part of Otabek's life wasn't well over a decade in the past at this point. As if JJ was still oblivious that the word “friends” had never not stung.

“I'd like to think we still are,” JJ went on, driving the knife in deeper, his eyes frantically trying to get a hold of Otabek's gaze, “And I know we haven't talked much lately. But I'm worried about you, Beks. You gotta leave him. If he treats you like this... you _have_ to leave. I always hated you being with him, I always-”

This time, Otabek did snort. It was a wet and ugly sound, sharp with contempt and laced with bitter poison. He doubted that it cut JJ as deeply as JJ's words had cut him, but at least it made him shut up momentarily. His eyes were full of something Otabek didn't want to decipher, but it caused him to look back over his shoulder at Isabella. She had wandered a little closer but hadn't crossed the street.

“Izzy seems to be waiting for you.”

JJ blinked, always surprised when someone so bluntly cut him off. There had been a time when Otabek had hung on every word from JJ's lips, even the ones that hurt.

JJ turned his head to look over at his wife, as if he had completely forgotten that she was there.

“Oh. Yeah. We were going to grab something to eat.” His entire face lit up. “Hey, why don't you join us!? We could catch up, and-”

“Can't. I gotta get back.” Before Yuri came back and noticed he'd been gone. Before JJ slipped past his defenses with the practiced ease of someone who had never figured out what personal space was. Before the past could catch up even further and dig its merciless claws into the present, rip open every scar and pour searing regret into the fresh tears.

“Back to Yuri.” JJ's voice was flat, all cheerfulness from before sapped out of it.

Otabek inclined his head, lips pressed thin. Making the distinction had been unnecessary, and so was answering. They both knew he was here with Yuri. He had no reason to go to any competition anymore if it weren't to keep Yuri company. And he should really get back to the hotel before Yuri returned from whatever post-competition press obligations he and his skaters had had to attend. He was going to be extra cranky after that; no need for Otabek to add to that.

“Listen, Beks, if you need help-”

“I don't,” Otabek bit out. His clenched fists were trembling inside the stuffy pockets of his jacket. He made the mistake to look up into JJ's pained, doubtful eyes, and narrowed his own. “And I also don't need pity.”

“Of course. Sorry.” JJ raised his hands in a placating gesture. “I just wanna make sure you're okay.”

“I'm fine,” Otabek insisted, while he felt his insides twist themselves into knots over the way JJ kept looking at him. Maybe it really wasn't pity. Maybe he truly cared. Otabek wasn't sure which hurt more. He had always wondered how eyes the color of frozen lakes could hold so much warmth. He hadn't been prepared for that warmth to be offered so freely after giving JJ the cold shoulder for so many years.

“It wasn't always like this,” Otabek heard himself say, as if he had to at least attempt to offer an explanation in exchange, “But after the injury... after he was forced to retire... it's been really tough on him.”

“So it's okay for him to be tough on you in return?” JJ shook his head. “Don't make excuses for him, Beks. Whatever his issues are... you deserve better. So much better.”

Their eyes locked again, and even though Otabek was sure that neither of them moved, it felt like the distance between them was rapidly diminishing. Time contracted, years melted away, all air was sucked out of his suddenly much too tight chest.

He knew JJ felt it, too. It was all right there in his eyes. Unlike Otabek, he had always been an open book. How foolish of Otabek to have skipped so many pages.

He felt like he was falling, and as much as he wanted to believe that JJ would want to catch him, he knew JJ couldn't. Isabella was right there, no more than ten meters away, watching them with the same look in her eyes as back then. She knew. She had always known.

When he glanced over, unable to stop himself, her eyes met his for a second, then she looked away. Even across the distance Otabek thought he could see the shadow of sadness fall across her face. It irked him. She had nothing to be sad about. She had everything she ever wanted. A princess wedding with her King and a pair of twins that had his eyes.

JJ had followed his gaze and the moment was slipping away. The bubble burst and time expanded, every little twist and turn that had lead them to this moment in time rushed back in with a vengeance, and now here they were, both of them trapped by the choices they made and an avalanche of regret right behind the floodgates. He needed to keep those gates closed. For him, they were all he had left. A fortress that got more brittle by the day. Once it crumbled, he'd never make it out from under the rubble.

“Thanks, Jean.” It wasn't what he truly wanted to say, but at least it was appropriate. He needed to make an excuse to leave because staying around any longer seemed unbearable. JJ's eyes were full of questions Otabek didn't have the strength to answer, but at least JJ seemed to realize that he didn't have the right to ask them out loud anyway.

“See you around.” Otabek knew his face was empty when he mumbled his good-bye, but even his trusted stoic mask wouldn't help much if JJ saw the tears well up in his eyes, so he swiftly stepped past him, not even waiting for a response, and walked away as quickly as he dared without making it look like he was fleeing. He had nowhere to run anyway, not really.

He kept up the fast pace until the stuffy warmth of the hotel lobby collided with him, then slowed down even more the closer he got to their hotel room, stalling, dragging his feet, finding himself desperately wishing that Yuri wasn't there, that he was out somewhere with friends Otabek knew he didn't actually have. The few he'd made he'd lost again just as quickly. Nobody had the nerve to deal with his temper for too long. Nobody but Otabek was strong enough – or stubborn enough – to stick around. If Otabek left him, he'd have nobody.

The thought still broke Otabek's heart.

He walked a little faster again. He'd made his decision. He'd made a _promise_. He couldn't go back on his word.

As expected, Yuri was right there when Otabek entered their hotel room, green eyes flashing when they met Otabek's. The years had sharpened and hardened those jewels. The softness Otabek had once been allowed to see in them had been lost along the way, and Otabek wished he knew how it had happened or what he could have done to prevent it.

He knew, of course, what had caused the current flare of anger in them, even before Yuri spoke.

“Where have you been?” His voice was sharp-edged, like blades cutting into ice. It was becoming harder and harder to recall how Otabek had once found it appealing. Pulse quickening, Otabek fumbled with the zipper of his jacket, avoiding Yuri's piercing glare.

“Stepped out for a snack at the coffee shop around the corner.” Even though it was true, it felt like a lie. He finally managed to unzip the jacket and shrugged out of it to put it on a hanger by the door just to have an excuse to keep avoiding eye-contact.

“Bullshit,” Yuri snapped, “I saw you with JJ.”

Otabek stilled, stomach sinking with misplaced guilt while his blood ran cold with familiar dread. He forced his tensing shoulders to give a small shrug.

“Yeah. Ran into him on my way back.”

“I fucking told you like a million times that I don't want you to talk to that shit-head!”

The soldier's eyes Otabek had once been so enamored with had transformed into the eyes of a ruthless commander, and Otabek had failed to follow his orders. Like so often before. Sometimes it felt like that was all Otabek ever did – failing him. He should have done better.

“I just talked to him for a moment to be polite, Yura.” His pulse was racing, but he kept his voice calm, as if that would miraculously keep Yuri calm as well. He couldn't remember the last time that had worked.

“There's no fucking reason to be fucking polite to him! Just tell him to fuck off!” Yuri was right in front of him now, towering over him, fists clenched. Otabek swallowed thickly.

“I tried. But you know how he never shuts up and never realizes when someone doesn't actually want to listen to his blabbering.” It hurt to hear those words come over his lips so easily. JJ didn't deserve them. The guilt burning in his stomach shifted, sank in deeper, felt more like shame now, made worse because it was very clear that Yuri didn't believe him anyway. His green eyes flashed dangerously.

“I'm sick of you making fucking excuses!” Yuri yelled, and Otabek flinched, but didn't argue.

And he didn't dodge.

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoyed writing this, even though I'm usually in the "Yuri will grow out of his anger issues" crowd - I just couldn't resist the question "But what if he doesn't?"  
> I was a bit unsure how to tag this properly, so if you feel I should add or fix anything, please let me know ^^  
> And, as always, Kudos and Comments are greatly appreciated <3


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